On October 25, 2018, I went on a journey up a steep trail in the Santa Monica mountains. I went up to let go of a lot of stuff and didn’t really expect to find anything in return.
I had a lot to say goodbye to and took something symbolic to represent each one. I would stop along the Backbone Trail, take out my cat’s collar, thank her for a life well lived, and toss it over the side. A little rubber giraffe represented “Mini D”, the most amazing child that I had the fortune of fostering for a year. A coin represented my mother as it was one of the items left to me after her passing, and it ended a long story of money habits that needed to be let go as well. “Thank you for everything,” I would say each time, “I’ll take it from here.”
Finally, it was time to say goodbye to “Stuart”. My voices didn’t like the sound of it, but I knew that it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t tremendously attached to “Stu” but I knew that the name-shift would signify a new chapter in my life and instantly define where other people are placed on my timeline.
I took out a heart shaped pencil sharpener, poked my finger and put a drop of blood onto it. “Thank you for everything… I’ll take it from here.”
As I moved farther up the trail as “Stu” I came across the final hill. “Well Mr. Rosen,” I asked, “what’s it gonna be? You going to stop short, like you often do, or take the hill?”
I took the hill.
It was the most amazing 360 degree view I had ever seen, and so worth the final push. The photo of the hill has been my phone screen ever since. Reminding me daily to “take the hill.”
I came back down to sit under a tree for lunch and to fulfill my promise to return to my drawing.
I took out my pad of paper and my pencil. I noticed the point was dull beyond use.
Then I paused.
“Well, if I only had a PENCIL SHARPENER!!”
(The irony was now lost on me like the sharpener)
So I made a choice. “Take out a pen…” I told myself. “If you have a pen and a piece of paper, you have art.”
“What do I draw?” Anything.
“But what if I make a mistake?” You work with it, just like you do with everything else.
Welcome to Life.
Welcome back to Art.
Leave a Reply